Confidence was never my strong suit. In fact, I used to have pretty low self-confidence. I was always afraid to speak up in class, had poor body language, and was never comfortable around new people. I would constantly compare myself to others and feel like I came up short. This lack of self-confidence issues led to a lot of anxiety and insecurity.
I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere!
Here’s my story of low self-confidence and self-esteem
We all know that others often admire confident people as they possess a reassuring presence to be with. Anything that comes along their way, they face it head-on confidently, knowing that they can overcome the hurdles.
And here’s me, a low self-esteem person. I brainstormed for days and nights, and finally, I came out with the most fabulous idea, but I also had a problem. I was reluctant to present my idea because of all the rejection I had previously faced. The thought of being rejected again terrifies me, and there goes my chance GONE forever because of my low self-esteem and sense of self.
The thing is, if you don’t have confidence in yourself, how can you expect anyone else to have confidence in you?
So how did I change this? How did I manage to increase my self-confidence and build my self-esteem?
The turning point for my self-confidence and self-doubt
Something changed. I started realizing the build-up anxiety and insecurity were all in my head. I was the one who was putting myself down and holding myself back. I decided that I needed to change how I felt about myself.
So, I started working on building my self-confidence and my self-belief. And it turned out that a lot of what I believed about myself was wrong. I learned that confidence is not a static thing- it’s something that you can cultivate and grow over time. And once I understood that everything changed for me.
Understanding My Self-Worth and Self-Confidence
The first step was understanding how I viewed my self-worth. I began focusing on my strengths and what made me unique. This helped me to start accepting myself for who I was. And slowly but surely, my confidence started to grow.
The Important Key to Building Self Confidence
Had Steven Spielberg, Albert Einstein, Michael Jordan, J.K. Rowling, and Walt Disney listened to these people who told them that they were not good enough, they wouldn’t even be here to become the world’s biggest stars with a legacy that endures.
Do you know how many times bankers rejected Walt Disney’s Mickey Mouse idea? 300 times. It took 300 times, and yet Walt Disney still believed in himself.
People seem to think that Walt Disney is born with these self-confidence qualities. But in actuality, that is far from the truth. Nobody is born with limitless self-confidence. If people you know seem to have incredible self-confidence. Well, that’s because they have worked on building it for years. They know and have experienced firsthand what rejections feel like. If even you don’t believe in yourself, how do you expect yourself to be convincing to others?
Think of building confidence like a balloon. You need to blow it to inflate the balloon, or your confidence will deflate when you leave it for a prolonged period.
How I Build My Confidence
The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to how to build self-confidence. However, knowing some proven strategies can help. Here are the three things I do every day to boost my confidence.
1. Finding your self-affirmation
I used to think that self-affirmations were silly. I mean, who really believes that standing in front of a mirror and saying “I’m smart” or “I’m good looking” will make them feel any better about themselves? But then I read an article about the power of self-talk and how it can impact our confidence levels. And I thought, hey, what do I have to lose? So I decided to give it a try.
I started by looking in the mirror and saying, “I’m confident.” At first, it felt weird. But I kept at it as my morning routine, and after a few days, I started to notice a difference. I felt more confident in myself and my own ability. Now, every time I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I take a moment to say something positive about myself. And it really does make a difference.
You see, your mind is the most susceptible to our self-confidence, and the best way to overcome your mind is by feeding affirmation to your confidence.
Essentially, self-affirmation trains your subconscious mind to a deeper level of confidence. It’s a combination of hypnosis, psychology, pep talk, gratitude, positive thinking, focused thoughts, and a strong belief.
Slowly but surely, you will notice the difference in how people treat you as you begin to feel less inferior to them. Some may even feel afraid to argue with you as you seem determined and confident.
So, now you have no excuse not to practice building confidence daily and feel its sensational outcomes!
2. Prepare ahead of time
Once I discovered the importance of preparing ahead of time, my confidence level skyrocketed. And I want the same for you.
Did you think that it all came easy when it comes to dating, meeting new people, public speaking, and selling products? Confident people often appear confident because they already have the questions, answers, solutions, and experience in hand, ready to be implemented, so their confidence shines through.
Imagine you are on a blind date with a girl, So while you’re staring at each other from across a candle-lit table, perched together on a bench outside a coffee shop, or waiting for your film to start at the movie theater. All you can think of asking is, where are you from? What do you do? Booooring. This is when you emotionally hit rock bottom as your potential significant other decided to ghost you after that date.
You see, one of the basic principles of confidence is that the persuader creates confidence in the persuaded. Your self-confidence will shoot up if you are prepared and have the knowledge to back it up. EASILY.
Now imagine again you are on a blind date with a girl, and again while you’re staring at each other from across a candle-lit table, perched together on a bench outside a coffee shop, or waiting for your film to start at the movie theater.
If you were indeed prepared, you would immediately know how to lead the conversation and ask the girl the right impactful and engaging questions, like how a good salesman knows the right approach to communicate with the customer to sell the products.
So the next time you have an important meeting, presentation, or date, take some time to prepare so that you can
Key takeaway: Rome wasn’t built in a day. People’s confidence in you also needs time to be built upon.
3. Think of Your Past Success
The last approach on my list to building greater self-confidence is to consciously focus and embrace the past successes that I’ve had. This helps create a growth mindset, which is the belief that our skills and abilities can be developed with effort. When we focus on our past successes, we are more likely to see ourselves capable of achieving future goals. This positive self-talk can help increase our motivation and perseverance in facing challenges.
Additionally, thinking about past successes can remind us of our values and what is important to us. As we reflect on times when we have been successful, we can draw strength from these memories and use them as a source of inspiration in the present moment.
Let me give you an example. When you were a kid, your parents left you alone to play by yourself. You were cooperative all the time except for this one time.
Immediately your parents screamed at you when you got into trouble.
You might not realize this, but there was almost always more emotional intensity around your mistakes and failures than your successes.
And because your brain is more accustomed to remembering events that were accompanied by these intense emotions, you may hide away from social situations, stop trying new things, and avoid things you find challenging.
But is that what you truly want? Always hiding behind and not fulfilling things that you are destined to achieve?
If your answer is no, it is time to get your brain to accept positive statements and reject negative self-talk. Start by framing your thoughts on all the previous successes that you’ve had. Find opportunities to congratulate, compliment, and reward yourself, even for the smallest victories in your own life.
Get that missing puzzle to your self-confidence.
If you are still struggling to rewire your brain to accept positive statements, I highly suggest finding your nearest licensed psychologist to develop confidence.
It is said that knowledge is power, and nowhere is that more true than in the case of self-knowledge. When I began to develop self-awareness and understand my self-confidence, it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. Suddenly, I saw myself in a new light, and I knew that I was capable of much more than I had ever realized.
My self-confidence skyrocketed, and I started taking risks that I would never have dared to take before. As a result, my life changed for the better in ways that I could never have imagined. Now, I am entirely confident in my ability to achieve anything I set my mind to accomplish. I wish I knew these life Lessons in my early 20s.
Therefore, if you want to change your life for the better, start by understanding that building self-confidence is not a one-time event. There are simply no quick fixes to feeling confident. Self-esteem boost is a continuous journey that requires effort, self-love, and commitment. However, the rewards are definitely worth it. When you have a high level of self-confidence, you will find a strong sense of self and achieve tremendous success in all areas of your life.
So, get out of your comfort zone and develop self-confidence that will come hand in hand with a positive, healthy level of the general sense of your well-being.
To recap, doing these three things every day will boost your confidence is:
- Finding your self-affirmation
- Prepare ahead of time
- Think of Your Past Success
I hope that this article has given you some valuable insights into how you can start building self-confidence and improve your lack of confidence. If you have any questions or would like to share your own experiences, please leave a comment below. I would love to hear your thoughts on improving your self-confidence and self-esteem.
I recommend reading the book: 30 Days to Confident to build self-confidence!